I had been telling God, "If You allowed me to be born into a family of missionaries, You should've let things end up going well for us, or at least solve these frustrations and doubts I have about You. Or You should've just let me be born into a normal family and meet me when I'm at my most desperate hour or something!" 

But I realized how wicked I had been... and just what kind of suffering Jesus had gone through for someone like me... and just what kind of a person He had risen from the dead to become the Lord for. When I realized these things, I couldn't help but repent before Him who was living at this very moment.